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The Usual Friday Crud

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Friday, 30 June 2006

What exactly is it the RIAA do again?

NASA: Hubble Camera Should Be Back July 3

NASA: Hubble Camera Should Be Back July 3

Yup, once again Hubble is hobbled.

Howstuffworks "How LEGO Bricks Work"

Howstuffworks "How LEGO Bricks Work"

Yup, more than you could ever want to know about how LEGO is made, how it works, etc.

LEGO has to be about the most universal toy in the world...

Patriot Act smackdown: Librarians 1, FBI 0

Patriot Act smackdown: Librarians 1, FBI 0

Yup, even a bunch of Librarians can beat the FBI!

Return of Conan the Librarian?

Photo gallery: Dust art

Photo gallery: Dust art

And you thought I only reported on geeks that have too much time on their hands!

This guy creates masterpieces in the dust on the back windo of his Mini Cooper! (And a friends Mazda?)

(Click Next to see more)

Boten Anna

Boten Anna [flash video]

For IRC/Chat junkies only... [go to rehab the lot of you!]

You know an artist is despirate for material when he starts singing about the 'Bot in an IRC channel!

Sauna Pranks In Japan

Sauna Pranks In Japan � SpikedHumor.com [flash video]

No one takes the micky out of the Japanese, like the Japanese do...

Remind me never to visit a Japanese Spa!

Duke Nukem Jam!

3D Realms News: Duke Nukem Jam! [flash video]

Yup, Duke will just not lay down and die, dispite the latest installment never turning up...

Actually just a kid playing the old Duke Nukem theme song on his guitar, but not a bad rendition if you're a gamer, or mettalist (or even better, both)

Killer tomatoes attack human diseases

New Scientist News - Killer tomatoes attack human diseases

It's the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes, but not as we know it... (HIV and Hep B vaccine!)

Smile! A new Canadian tool can re-grow teeth say inventors

BREITBART.COM - Smile! A new Canadian tool can re-grow teeth say inventors

Not happy with your smile? Crack up your teeth and let these guys grow you a new one!

Works on bones too!!

Umaga admits 'shame' over handbag incident

New Zealand news on Stuff.co.nz: Umaga admits 'shame' over handbag incident

Eventually this will all die down and we'll forget about it...

[Thanks James]

Bush the Soccer fan


[Thanks Con]

English FA Soccer Mascots


Nice boots...

[Thanks Con]

Thursday, 29 June 2006

What's your doctor say about you?

These are actual doctors' notes on patients' charts:

1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it disappeared completely.

3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1993.

5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

8. The patient refused an autopsy.

9. The patient has no past history of suicides.

10. Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.

11. Patient's past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.

12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

14. Since she can't get pregnant with her husband, I thought you might like to work her up.

15. She is numb from her toes down.

16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.

17. The skin was moist and dry.

18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.

19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (ouch!)

21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her adult life, until she got a divorce.

22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.

27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.

[Thanks Con]

Car Talk

Car Talk

Nothing to do with cars, but does give women yet another reason not to take their men shopping...

[Thanks Jan]

NEW SEAT BELT LAW IN THE UK

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed.
Correct installation is illustrated below.......



[Thanks Con]

Michael Owen's New Career


[Thanks Con]

Wednesday, 28 June 2006

JAFA Dolls - guaranteed to offend someone

Remuera Barbie: This modern day princess homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with a Prozac prescription and Botox, Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing and is often "working late". Available at all Newmarket-area Starbucks retailers.

North Shore Barbie: This Barbie is only sold at Smith & Caughey. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer and a long-haired foreign lap dog named "Honey". Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.

Otara Barbie: This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 Holden Ute with dark tinted windows and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash- preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at participating pawn shops.

Henderson Barbie: This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer-Gut Ken out of Massey Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includess low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Holden Ute Convertible separately and get Fly Buys points absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at any Warehouse Store. Massey Barbie sold separately.

Massey Barbie: This pale model comes dressed in her own Levi jeans 2 Sizes too small, "It's All About Me" T- shirt and a Guns and Roses tattoo on her shoulder. She has a six pack of Lucky and comes with Metallica CD's. She can spit over a distance of 2 metres and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after their last big fight. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at K-Mart.

Onehunga Barbie: Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a 2 litre of Pepsi and a DPB cheque. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Ford pickup are optional. Available at The Warehouse.

Great Barrier Barbie: This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, arch-less feet, hairy armpits, no make-up and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not have, want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at the Ferry terminal.

Ponsonby Barbie: This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work and hangs out at SPQR. Likes to "experiment", but will never commit. This model is being phased out.

[Thanks Con]

Tuesday, 27 June 2006

Even more Peter Crouch

Sorry, had all kinds of problems with the Blogger Image upload tool...







[Thanks Con]

Aussie football Quotes

Here are some quotes from the Socceroos proving that Australia may not win the Brains World Cup:

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7."
- Tim Cahill

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league."
- Mark Viduka

"Guus Hiddink is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had."
- Lucas Neill

"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day."
- John Aloisi

"I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable."
- Ned Zelic

"I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well."
- Mark Shwartzer

"I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona."
- Vince Grella

"You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out."
- Harry Kewell

"I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier."
- Mile Sterjovski

"Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesborough."
- Mark Viduka

"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel."
- Craig Moore

"I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right."
- Harry Kewell

"I couldn't settle in Italy- it was like living in a foreign country."
- Vince Grella

"Germany is a very difficult team to play...they have 11 internationals out there."
- Zeljko Kalac

"I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock."
- Jason Culina

"I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet."
- Tony Popovic

"The Brazilians were South American, and the Ukrainians will be more European."
- Scott Chipperfield

"All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed."
- Marco Bresciano

"One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best."
- Craig Moore

"I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd."
- Mark Viduka

"Sometimes in football you have to score goals."
- Harry Kewell

[Thanks Con]

England's Finest


After all, it's not like they were going to get through based on talent!

[Thanks Con]

BrazilName - Generate your own Brazil football shirt!

BrazilName - Generate your own Brazil football shirt!

Impress your friends with your very own Brazilian Football shirt and your Spanish(?!!) name...

I was quite dissapointed, I'm just "Craa", hardly impressive...

[Thanks Con]

Monday, 26 June 2006

Mind games....

At the end of this message, you are asked a question.
Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it.
Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
This is a fun "test"... AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give it a try, and you'll see how many people you know fall into the same percentage as you.
Now... just follow the instructions as quickly as possible.
Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one.
You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind.
You'll be surprised.

Start:
How much is:
15 + 6
3 + 56

89 + 2

12 + 53

75 + 26

25 + 52

63 + 32

I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over..
Come on, one more!

123 + 5

QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOUR AND A TOOL!

Scroll further to the bottom....

A bit more...

You just thought about a red hammer! , didn't you?

If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a different, if not abnormal, mind.

98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise e.

If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see.

[An oldie from Con]

World Cup Fans

Swedish Fan
Portugese Fan
Australian Fan (at least she drinks beer...)
Brazil
Trinidad & Tobago

Dutch Fan
Italian Fan
Polish Fan

Paraguay Fan

And ......

English Fan!
[Thanks Con]

UNbeliveable skills

UNbeliveable skills - Google Video [flash video]

Incredable soccer skills spanning a few years...
I suspect there would be plenty of similar action from this years World Cup...

Halo2 meets the Muppets (Mahna Mahna)

Halo2 meets the Muppets (Mahna Mahna) - Google Video [flash video]

Yup, even the Muppets get remade with a modern computer game...

Oozinator - Questionable Super Soaker

YouTube - Oozinator - Questionable Super Soaker [flash video]

Next they'll be trying to explain "the Big Gulp"....

AT&T "Clarifies" their Privacy Policy.


[Thanks UserFriendly]

Play Time! - ZWOK

ZWOK - playstation.com [flash]

A neat variotion on an old favourite (plays online).

Peter Crouch - more









Peter Croush - more






[Thanks Con]

Big Warnie

Big Warnie [plugin video]

Hillarious

[Thanks Con]

Pete Crouch










[Thanks Con]

RONALDINHO'S DOGS

[Thanks Con]

Friday, 16 June 2006

Finger Soccer Skills

Finger Soccer Skills - Cool Videos [windows media]

Very cool little video, legit? I think not...

[Thanks Adrian]

Shock Absorber

Shock Absorber [flash]

Umm... yeah, some of the ladies might appreciate this and certainly all the guys will... Probably not one for in the office...

[Thanks Adrian]

Am I in Pi?

Am I in Pi?

Late Night Bytes on TV3 (it's part of Nightline on Thursdays) occasionally has some little gems...

The Fruit World Cup!

The Juice Doctor [flash video]

Hillarious!

[Thanks Con]

Tui ad


lest we forget...

[Thanks Con]

Thursday, 15 June 2006

How not to release a leopard

How not to release a leopard - Google Video [flash video]

These park rangers get it all wrong... and pay for it...

[Thanks Con]

Worlds Smallest Blown v8, seriously no joke.

Worlds Smallest Blown v8, seriously no joke. - Google Video [flash video]

Yup, that's a fairly small V8 all right, not so sure that it's the (claimed) 1/20th scale, looks a lot bigger. Cute noise though...

Temperature

  • 40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe.
  • 35 degrees - Italian cars won't start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
  • 20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
  • 15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
  • 0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.
  • -10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
  • -20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
  • -80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
  • -100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
  • -173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.
  • -297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
  • -460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill billy ... eh?"
  • -500 degrees - Hell freezes over. The Scots support England in the World Cup
[Thanks Con]

Number One Fan

A German family head out one Saturday to do some shopping. While in thesports shop the son picks up an England football shirt and says to his sister, "I've decided to be an England supporter and I would like this for my birthday."His big sister is outraged by this and promptly whacks him round the head and says, "Go talk to your mother." So off goes the little lad with the white and red football shirt in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?""Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday". The mother is outraged at this, promptly whacks him around the head twice and says, "Go talk to your father." Off he goes with the football shirt in hand and finds his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?""I've decided I'm going to be an England supporter and I would like this shirt for my birthday." The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head 4 times and says:"No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT!" About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home. The father turns to his son and says; "Son, I hope you've learned something today?"The son says, "Yes dad I have." "Good son, what is it?" The son replies,"I've only been an England supporter for an hour and already I hate youGerman B*****ds!"

[Thanks Con]

Wednesday, 14 June 2006

Cats to star in reality TV show

New Zealand's source for oddstuff - strange, weird & bizarre news on Stuff.co.nz: Cats to star in reality TV show

TV has stooped to a new low! A reality Cat show...

[Thanks Catherine]

Aviation notes

Aviation Note: For those who don't know, "The Sled" is the SR-71 Blackbird spy plane from the 1960's and still the fastest jet airplane.

In his book, "Sled Driver", SR-71 Blackbird pilot Brian Shul writes:
"I'll always remember a certain radio exchange that occurred one day as Walt (my back-seater) and I were screaming across Southern California 13 miles high. We were monitoring various radio transmissions from other aircraft as we entered Los Angeles airspace.
Though they didn't really control us, they did monitor our movement across their scope.
I heard a Cessna ask for a readout of its ground speed."90 knots" Center replied.
Moments later, a Twin Beech required the same. "120 knots," Center answered. We weren't the only ones proud of our ground speed that day as almost instantly an F-18 smugly transmitted, "Ah, Center, Dusty 52 requests ground speed readout." There was a slight pause, then the response, "525 knots on the ground, Dusty." Another silent pause. As I was thinking to myself how ripe a situation this was, I heard a familiar click of a radio transmission coming from my back-seater.
It was at that precise moment I realized Walt and I had become a real crew, for we were both thinking in unison. "Center, Aspen 20, you got a ground speed readout for us?"
There was a longer than normal pause.... "Aspen, I show 1,742 knots" (That's about 2004.658 mph for those who don't know) No further inquiries were heard on that frequency.

--------------------------------------------------

In another famous SR-71 story, Los Angeles Center reported receiving a request for clearance to FL 600 (60,000ft).
The incredulous controller, with some disdain in his voice, asked,
"How do you plan to get up to 60,000 feet?
The pilot (obviously a sled driver), responded, "We don't plan to go up to it; we plan to go down to it." He was cleared.

-------------------------------------

The pilot was sitting in his seat and pulled out a .38 revolver.
He placed it on top of the instrument panel, and then asked the navigator, "Do you know what I use this for?" The navigator replied timidly, "No, what's it for?"
The pilot responded, "I use this on navigators who get me lost!" The navigator proceeded to pull out a 45 and place it on his chart table.
The pilot asked, "What's that for?" "To be honest sir," the navigator replied, "I'll know we're lost before you will."

--------------------------------------------

When Hillary Clinton visited Iraq last month the Army Blackhawk helicopter used to transport the Senator was given the call sign "broomstick one". And they say the Army has no sense of humor!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tower: "Delta 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!"
Delta 351:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"

--------------------------------------------------------------------

One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the runway while a MD80 landed.
The MD80 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the MD80 crew got on the radio and said, "What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?" Our hero the Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with:
"I made it out of MD80 parts. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one."

--------------------------------------------------

There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down.
"Ah," the pilot remarked, "the dreaded seven-engine approach."

----------------------------------------------

A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight.
While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, "What was your last known position?" Student: "When I was number one for takeoff."

--------------------------------------------------

Taxiing down the tarmac, the 757 abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate.
After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, "What was the problem?" "The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine," explained the flight attendant," and it took us a while to find a new pilot."

--------------------------------------------------

"Flight 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 degrees." "But Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?" "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hit s a 727?


[Thanks Steve - Air Traffic Controller at Christchurch Airport]

Tuesday, 13 June 2006

Play time - Optus Tennis Site

optus_tennis_site_edited [flash]

Keep the tennis ball off the ground.. simple you say...

Monday, 12 June 2006

Play The Lemonade Game

LemonadeGame.com - Play The Lemonade Game [flash]

Very simple... Good practice if you want to be "The Apprentice"?

Piracy site doubles hits after police raid: web monitor - Yahoo! News

Piracy site doubles hits after police raid: web monitor - Yahoo! News

Heh heh, you just can't keep a good pirate down... not that these guys are actually pirates! They just track bittorrent links, they don't have the content themselves... it'd be like trying to shutdown searchengines for linking to pr0n, how to make bombs, or anti-Communist propoganda...

ThePirateBay, one of those useful resources...

MC Hammer Blog

MC Hammer Blog

Yup, you just can't touch this...

Drunk In The Police Station

Planet Vids - Funny Videos - Drunk In The Police Station [windows media]

This made it onto NZ TV recently... Hillarious...

Choose Your Underwear Carefully!

Compfused.com - Almost Better Than Tacos [windows media]

Ummm... yeah, and who wants to be a mouse "down there" anyway?

Spin dj is a god

YouTube - Spin dj is a god [flash video]

very clever music vid, somone's been having real fun...

Speed tickets a problem?

Compfused.com - Almost Better Than Tacos

Nothing like a bit of friendly fire to make you speed up, perfectly justifiable in the USA, or anywhere that US troops are stationed...

iPods knock over beer mugs

USATODAY.com - iPods knock over beer mugs

Yup, for only the second time in (web recorded history) beer has beer has been surpassed as the #1 thing that students care about.

Believe it or not, the Internet was the previous killer, back in 1997!

Who said my blog isnt' educational?!?!

The Superb Lyrebird of South Australia - Elaborate performance attracts females

The Superb Lyrebird of South Australia - Elaborate performance attracts females - on Bore Me [quicktime video]

Hmmm... I know it's called a lyrebird... but making camera and chainsaw sounds?

[Thanks Con]

World Cup lowdown...

After three days of intensive analysis, application of scientific models and weighing up the build-up to the tournament, sports editor Dan Nicholl and his team of experts have worked out exactly what will happen in this year's World Cup — including who will win the tournament.

Group A
Michael Ballack's feud with Jurgen Klinsman overshadows the bad blood between Jens Lehman and Oliver Kahn, but Ballack blows two weeks wages from his new Chelsea deal to buy out Klinsman's contract, and installs himself as player-manager. German public almost caught smiling as their team wins the group comfortably, with Costa Rica sneaking into second place, despite undue attention from sniffer dogs at customs every time they go through an airport.

Group B
English press call for Sven to be knighted after opening win over Paraguay. English press call for Sven to be shot at dawn after dismal draw with Sweden. English press call for Sven to succeed Queen Elizabeth after win over Trinidad and Tobago confirms top spot. David Beckham lauds team that can beat not only Trinidad, but Tobago as well. Victoria Beckham promises to produce a tribute song if England wins the World Cup; England team signs petition imploring her not to. Sweden finish second.

Group C
Commotion in opening match as Diego Maradona attempts to film his talk show mid-pitch during Argentina's opening game against Cote D'Ivoire. Group comes down to a shootout between Argentina and Holland in the final match, which Holland take in the final minutes to win the group. Ruud van Nistelrooy celebrates by sticking more pins into his Sir Alex Ferguson doll at post-match press conference.

Group D
Angolan players lose opening match to Portugal, but then take Luis Figo and Cristiano Ronaldo hostage afterwards, demanding reparations for colonial oppression, financial aid for economic growth, and an apology for inflicting peri-peri chicken wings on the Angolan people, who don't actually like them very much. Portugal finish top of the group after stand-off is resolved, with Iran also through after Mexico expelled for attempting to take FIFA to court mid-tournament, demanding royalty payments every time a crowd wave ripples through a stadium anywhere in the football world.

Group E
USA briefly withdrawn from tournament by American government, after President Bush declares the team cannot travel to the Middle East; quick clarification on the geographic location of Germany allows them back in, and three surprise wins see the Americans through. Italian players stage protest, claiming they haven't been called with instructions on who should win, and what they're being paid for the result, and Ghana slip into the next round after defeating the Czech Republic.

Group F
Australian team turns out to have the most challenging names in the tournament, and the game against Croatia sees 18 television commentators hospitalised with injured tongues. Australia win tough battle to join Brazil in the next round, who opt for the novel but thus far successful 1-1-8 formation, the added support up front allowing Ronaldo to break for meals during play (and adding great impetus to McDonald's World Cup sponsorship).

Group G
Togo team goes missing with the team bus, which turns up at a scrap yard four days later, stripped clean. Togo players emerge in Berlin a week later claiming asylum. South Koreans gain widespread plaudits for 'adopting' as a charity the local German SPCA, with each team member taking a new dog back to the hotel as mascot; "a mouth-watering opportunity we couldn't pass up", say team members. Switzerland play to three 0-0 draws, and France finish top ahead of the Koreans, who face rumours of sudden weight gain.

Group H
Last minute attempts by Saudi Arabia to sign Samuel Eto'o, Roy Keane, Ryan Giggs and Benni McCarthy and make them Saudi citizens are blocked by FIFA; McCarthy responds by saying he's quitting international football. Spain coast through with Ukraine, who are cautioned for offering the referee a complimentary wife from a selection of top Ukrainian websites before the match against Spain, in return for a favourable performance.

Second round
Blonde Swedes in the stands sadly come to an end as their team loses to Germany, the locals described by German television as being "extremely happy". Iran refuse to play against the Dutch, who appear to have women in their team; the phenomenon of long-haired men is carefully explained, before the Dutch win comfortably.
The English press call for Sven to be canonised following a victory over Costa Rica that is only marred by substitute Peter Crouch accidentally jumping up and down on Wayne Rooney's foot at half-time, ending Rooney's campaign and getting Crouch back in the starting XI. President Bush congratulates "the entire people of Vienna" on their victory after the United States loses to Australia, but promises that the war on terror will not let up.
Elsewhere, Portugal lose to Argentina, France see off Ukraine, the Koreans (whose dogs have all sadly gone missing) lose to Spain, and Ronaldo racks up a hat-trick, two Big Macs and a quarter-pounder with cheese in the defeat of Ghana.

Quarterfinals
German commentators describe the local people as "extremely sad" after losing on penalties to the Dutch, although most people struggle to discern the difference to the earlier round's "extremely happy". France coast past Australia, while Brazil beat Spain 19-17, amidst some suggestion that playing eight strikers has its tactical weaknesses.
And in England, MI5 are tasked with tracking down and bringing to justice Sven, after England lose to Argentina. On a bleak day for England, Peter Crouch is ruled out after hitting his head on a passing bridge, Theo Walcott keeps the team up all night with teething problems, and Sven is spotted having lunch with the Real Madrid president (who he is subsequently romantically linked to by The Sun in a world exclusive).

Semifinals and final
The Netherlands take on Argentina for a place in the final, with Van Basten recalling Gullit, Koeman and Davids for the big game. It pays off, as Holland go through to face France, who take advantage of Brazil's new 1-0-9 formation, and the absence of Ronaldo, who in a repeat of 1998 falls victim to a big night out at the Pizza Hut buffet. France and the Netherlands thus play off for the World Cup, a place in history, and the promise of a transfer to Stamford Bridge, after Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho offers to buy the winning squad. The Netherlands win 3-2 in extra time, and celebrate deliriously, although the largely German crowd seems strangely unmoved.

[Thanks Con]

Extreme Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment

EepyBird.com - Extreme Diet Coke and Mentos Experiment [quicktime video]

This has got to be the best use of diet coke ever!

[Thanks Con]

Storm brings snow to south, cuts power in Auckland - 12 Jun 2006 - National News

Storm brings snow to south, cuts power in Auckland - 12 Jun 2006 - National News

Yup, once again power is lost to Auckland...
It looks like most of central Auckland is down, at least extending south to Manakau.

There are conflicting reports coming in, one saying that lines to the Otahuhu sub station got whacked out, another saything that power is down in Hamiton as well...

Not a bad storm we're having...

I suspect Vector will cop it, since this wasn't supposed to happen again after lines failed back in 2000(?) and most of the CBD was without power for weeks.

Sunday, 11 June 2006

The ubiquitous "Amen Break" explained

The ubiquitous "Amen Break" explained VideoSift [Flash video]

More than you ever wanted to know about the "Amen Break" and it's use (and the use of samples in general) in the development of hip-hop and electronica.

Aside from that, it's actually quite interesting, and I can see it's influence on a lot of the music I was listening to in the 80's and the D&B, Jungle, etc I've been listening to for the last 10 or so years...

Gamerscore Blog : Gosh! Halo vs. Napoleon Dynamite

Gamerscore Blog : Gosh! Halo vs. Napoleon Dynamite

Just to prove that even the Microsoft employee's have far to much time on their hands...

Worlde Cup: The Extra 'E' is for Extra ...

WFMU's Beware of the Blog: Worlde Cup: The Extra 'E' is for Extra ...

Put all that beer to good use!

Faster than bullets, yes. But Superman, gay? No way

Faster than bullets, yes. But Superman, gay? No way - Yahoo! News

Sacrelidge to even think it! That's like saying Batman was a pedophile and Judge Dredd was a eunuch!

Please, I know the world is getting far to PC these days (or at least the parts of if that can afford to), but please don't destroy all my childhood heros!

give us all your money

give us all your money

Just in case there really is one born every minute...

Tempting to go to a bank, set up a special account and track what happens...

PS3 Could Allow Users to Install OS X

PS3 Could Allow Users to Install OS X The Mac Observer

Hmm.... MacOS on your PS3... Nice idea, but if it's already going to ship with Linux installed... why bother?

Windows on PS3... hmmm... that suggests that XBox on PS3 might be possible... And while XBox360 is the son of XBox, I wonder just how divergent the "XP" Kernel is that is running on these things...

Either way, if there's space for more RAM, these might make viable alternatives to desktops, since they're pretty much fully functional otherwise...

Google researchers use ambient audio to augment the television experience

Google researchers use ambient audio to augment the television experience

Google is listening to your TV! Yup, so they can target their advertising better...

Friday, 9 June 2006

TVNZ Virtual Football

TVNZ Virtual Football

OK, so some of us were entered into Telecom's Virtual Rugby for the Super 14, now here's TVNZ's virtual World Cup (that's Soccer for those that don't keep up).

So sign up, pick your winners (there's only 13 hours before the first game!) and then watch your mates...

To add me to your mates, look for the nickname: usagi

It's a woman's world...











[Thanks Con]