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The Usual Friday Crud

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Friday, 28 July 2006

eBay: I closed my eBay store and I all have to show for it is...

eBay: I closed my eBay store and I all have to show for it is (item 110013225687 end time Jul-31-06 11:32:02 PDT)

Seems like eBay's been pissing off it's derivative stores...

So much, they even made a

Merry Go Round of Terror - Complete with Motorbike

Merry Go Round of Terror - Complete with Motorbike VideoSift [flash video]

Nuff said... it's a pittly the idiots of the world don't do a quicker job of killing each other (and themselves) off...

Merry Go Round of Terror - Complete with Motorbike

Merry Go Round of Terror - Complete with Motorbike VideoSift [flash video]

Nuff said... it's a pittly the idiots of the world don't do a quicker job of killing each other (and themselves) off...

Karate Video

Karate Video VideoSift [flash video]

Why I wont be taking up Karate in any hurry...

Famous TV Houses.

Neatorama � Blog Archive � Famous TV Houses.

Yeah, but where's Aotea Homestead from Bad Taste?

Red-faced spellcheck firm corrects own spelling

Oddly Enough News Article Reuters.com

When even the spellers can't spell.... who do you trust? Catherine?

A whole lot of flair bartending

A whole lot of flair bartending VideoSift [flash video]

Tom Cruise, eat your heart out!...

But like the commentor says.... stop shaking up my beer and "just give me a drink already"

Star Trek: Captain Kirk Farts

Star Trek: Captain Kirk Farts VideoSift [flash video]

Ahhh... now here's something for Boston Legal to use...



Neat idea... people have submitted pictures of different "times" and this person has slapped them all together into a "clock"

Eric Staller's Conference Bike!

Eric Staller's Conference Bike!

"It lowers inhibitions" ahhh yeah.... right....

The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator

The Always Amusing Euphemism Generator

"Alone once again, she retired to the bedroom and began chasing the one-eyed chutney"

This site will keep you entertained for hours... well... minutes anyway...

Thursday, 27 July 2006

The Hoff Pipex Advert

YouTube - The Hoff Pipex Advert [flash video]

This guy just gets around!!

There's no denying the marketing potential of The Hoff!

[Thanks Con]

Woah... Check out all the extra Hoff movies in teh "Expore More Videos" section..

Wednesday, 26 July 2006

Best on Google Video

This guy is doing a very good job of tracking cool vids on the net.

Star Trek 2.0: Spock's Crib [flash video]

Star Trek 2.0: Poolside [flash video]

Darth Vader Calls the Emperor [flash video]

Tom Cruise Kills Oprah [flash video]

GoDaddy.com "ad" [flash video]

Yoda Rap

Yoda Rap - Google Video [flash video]

Google Video does it again! Very cool.

Hasselhoff to star in musical based on his life

New Zealand's source for entertainment news, gossip & music, movie & book reviews on Stuff.co.nz: Hasselhoff to star in musical based on his life

Oh dear.... As if most musicals weren't bad enough to start with... now there's one about The Hoff.... and to show their faith in it, it's starting in Aussie, before heading to the US... I would have thought that it would start in Europe, where's he's still way popular...

[Thanks Con]

Not skirting the issue

Hamilton Spectator - News

OK, so I know a few other lawyers who just might follow suit.... er skirt....

[Thanks Con]

Tuesday, 25 July 2006

Old story.... new victim...

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous.

Please scroll down slowly and give due consideration to each line.

You are in Florida, Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding.

This is a flood of biblical proportions.

You are a photo journalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos.

There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water.

Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. Suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. He is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

You move closer, somehow the man looks familiar. You suddenly realize who it is.

It's Cristiano Ronaldo!

At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to pull him under.

You have two options--you can save the life of Cristiano Ronaldo or you can shoot a dramatic Pulitzer Prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the football world's most exciting players.

So here's the question, and please give an honest answer :

Would you select high contrast colour film, or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?

[Thanks Con]

Monday, 24 July 2006

South Park Studio

Planearium.de presents: SP-Studio.de

Build your own South Park characters!

[Thanks ZM]

Mobile technology aids Swedish evacuation

The Local - Mobile technology aids Swedish evacuation

Finally, an international justification for TXTing on phones... how to notify all the Swede's in Lebanon to get out!

[Thanks Con]

Really warm sweater for sale

Really warm sweater for sale - TradeMe.co.nz - New Zealand

The questions are hillarious!

[Thanks Con]

Thursday, 20 July 2006

What Face Mean To The Chinese

An American, a Japanese and a Chinese went for a hike one day.. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted.

When they came upon a small lake, they took off all their clothes and jumped into the water, since it was fairly secluded.

Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom".

As they were crossing an open area, suddenly a group of ladies from town appeared. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the American and the Japanese quickly used their hands to cover their privates. But the Chinese covered his face while they ran for cover.

After the ladies had left and the men got their clothes back on. The American and the Japanese asked the Chinese why he covered his face rather than his private part.

The Chinese replied, "I don't know about you, but in my country, it's the face that people recognize."

[Thanks Con]

Wednesday, 19 July 2006

dan's world Jake White exclusive

sport.iafrica.com columns dan's world Jake White exclusive

The truth finally comes out, on why South Africa got pummled by Australia in their Tri-Nations match.

[Thanks Con]

Monday, 17 July 2006

Skype Protocol Has Been Cracked

VoIPWiki Blog � Skype Protocol Has Been Cracked

Hmmm... not my normal kind of post, but some of you may be interested to hear about this...

Zidanney Hill

Zidanney Hill � SpikedHumor.com [flash video]

The classic French footballing headbutt. Remixed to Benny Hill.

[Thanks Con]

Guess who didn't win the US Sandcastle Competition...?

[Thanks Con]

Friday, 14 July 2006

See What They Want to See

The Two Wolves Weblog � Blog Archive � See What They Want to See

Yup, Zidane really put his foot, errr... head, in it this time... But not everyone sees it that way...

And there's a variation here.

[Thanks Nizza]

Thursday, 13 July 2006

Window Washer

Window Washer - Google Video [flash video]

Woah! You'd think twice about becoming a high-rise Window Washer after seeing this vid!

[Yes I got stuck on Google Video this morning...]

Street Entertainment in Liverpool

Street Entertainment in Liverpool - Google Video [flash video]

Smells of a set up, but check out why the street performers are so poor in Liverpool....

[Thanks Con]


Crazy Frog CHAMPIONS www.philgym.com Mondial 2006 - Google Video [flash video]

Just cause you can't keep a good frog down...

Why does this feel like it was supposed to be the theme song for when the English won the World Cup?.... Not that they were ever going to...

News alert!

Sophie Ellis Bextor found headbutted to death in the apartment of a French footballer.

Apparently it was murder on Zidanes floor...

[Thanks Con]

Wednesday, 12 July 2006

Men See Everything!

Men See Everything! - Google Video [flash video]

You'd be amazed how good a guys eyes are... even going flat-out in a car race they can spot some totty in the crowd!

If you see anything rude .... it's just your mind!

[Thanks Con]

Some take it too far

[Thanks Con]

Dark in here

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. So she puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a football."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "£250"

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the cupboard together. Boy - "Dark in here." Man - "Yes, it is." Boy - "I have football boots." The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, "How much?"
- "£750"
Man - "Sold."

A few days later, the boy's father says to the boy, "Grab your boots and football, let's go outside and have a game of soccer." The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and boots." The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?" Boy -"£1,000." The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that. That is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess."

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door. The boy says, "Dark in here." The priest says, "Don't start that shit again. You're in my cupboard now"

[Thanks Con]

Good logic


It has been scientifically proven that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli bacteria found in feces, in other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop!

However, we do not run that risk when drinking wine (or rum, whiskey, vodka, beer or other liquors) because alcohol has to go through a distillation process of boiling, filtering and fermenting.

WATER = Poop

WINE (or alternate spirits) = HEALTH

In my opinion it is better to drink wine and talk shit than to drink water and be full of shit.

[Thanks Con]

Tuesday, 11 July 2006

it's all lost and stoof

it's all lost and stoof

It's been a while since I've seen a good Page Not Found Error... So this one should cover most bases/languages/dialects/slangs/et al...

Situational Awareness


You are driving in a car at a constant speed.
On your left side is a deep valley and on your right side is a fireengine travelling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.
Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

Get off the children's "Merry-Go-Round", you're pissed.

[Thanks Gibble]

Be Zidane

zidane [flash]

How quickly can you get red carded?

[Thanks Con]

Friday, 7 July 2006

500 lb rubberband ball vs. Toyota Camry VideoSift

500 lb rubberband ball vs. Toyota Camry VideoSift [flash video]

I thought this was going to be crap at first, but if you fast forward to about 2 minutes in, they get a direct hit and the ball "climbs" in the window...

Popping a water balloon filled with colored water in space VideoSift

Popping a water balloon filled with colored water in space VideoSift [flash video]

OK, to compenstate for all the crap I put on here, here's my bit for science...

Police arrest cement soccer ball pranksters

Oddly Enough News Article Reuters.com

That's got to be the best World Cup prank I've heard of yet... and they arrested the guys!

You Cannot Fart Around with Love

You Cannot Fart Around with Love VideoSift [flash video]

I have no idea what the title has to do with the video...
One user comments that perhaps with videos this weird, drugs aren't required (unline in the video itself), but then perhaps you need drugs to make any sense of it!

The 60's and 70's have a lot to answer for!

Sweet 80's Commercials Montage

YouTube - Sweet 80's Commercials Montage [flash video]

OK, so a lot of it is American, but there are far too many clips in here that I recognise....

Alf, the Sunraise Rasins, Smurfs, Atari, Knight Rider, He-man, to name but a few.

Shatner on Sinatra-Early 70s

Shatner on Sinatra-Early 70s VideoSift [flash video]

Danny Crane.... It's not just a character he's playing... he's always been missing a few nuts and bolts...

Doom Parody Game

Flash Games - Doom Parody Game [flash game/movie]

I'm sure I've seen this before... Having a bit of a retro day today...

New Zealand Story Heading to DS

New Zealand Story Heading to DS - First Info Inside - News at SPOnG.com

OK, I thought I knew games, particularly old school, fairly well... but I'd never heard of New Zealand Story, but then I never had an Amiga...

Any ever have this on their Amiga?

Opposable Thumbs: Since when is it cheaper to import games? Since the 360 was released

Opposable Thumbs: Since when is it cheaper to import games? Since the 360 was released

Yup, the American's have finally discovered what we've been seeing in NZ for decades... Only here it's not just games (and their prices) is DVDs as well.

Microsoft to Supply Electronics to Formula 1

Slashdot Microsoft to Supply Electronics to Formula 1

"Gentleman, restart your engines!"

Yes, that's right MS is supplying the Engine Management Software for ALL F1 cars for the 2008 season.

If you're currently an F1 driver, there's your deadline for quiting the sport...

And yes, all the jokes you could think of around this subject are already there on /.

Wooster Collective: Another Crate Piece from Melbourne

Wooster Collective: Another Crate Piece from Melbourne

Don't own a computer to play Tetris on? No worries, these enterprising Aussies have come up with the poor mans Tetris...

Scorpions, worms and ants on the menu at club

Oddly Enough News Article Reuters.com

Yup, it's Fear Factor - The Dining experience...

Howstuffworks "How Pirates Work"

Howstuffworks "How Pirates Work"

All you ever wanted to know about pirates, both modern and in the past.

Makes a nice suppliment to this book (Where's Wally?: Plundering Pirates) that my youngest daughter found in the local library last weekend...

The Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor | PoopReport.com

The Intellectual Appreciation of Poop Humor PoopReport.com

I was in two minds about posting this, but since it's no worse than some things I've posted...

Shock The Man . Com - A Social Experiment In Pain/Prevention

Shock The Man . Com - A Social Experiment In Pain/Prevention

OK, usually it's the Goths, Punks and sexual oddities that go around with odd collars around their necks (Playboy ribons don't count), but this guy decided that after discovering how strong the shock was from the collar he'd put on his dog, that it was pay back time, so now he's wearing and you can choose how much pain he goes through... or how much of a block on the pain someone else attempts to inflict...

Now, if that was it, it would be just another day... but this is the internet, so it's Web cam video of the live shocking, video blog of shocks that missed the web cam, and of course... you pay to give/block a shock...

Aquaman ? shopping

Aquaman ? shopping [audio]

There's some poor crap out there... and this is some of it...

Anyone else remember Aquaman?

Daily Show on violent video games

YouTube - Daily Show on violent video games [flash video]

The Daily show looks at what Politicians are saying about violent video games... or at least what Politicians think they are saying...

[Thanks Jan]

Theo's diary

What I did on my summer holiday

By Theo Walcott Esq aged 8 1/2I went to a place called Germany with my Uncle Sven and some other grown up's. It is a country in Europe where a bad man called Adolf used to live with his nazties, he does not live there anymore, Uncle Owen does live there, and the grown up's say I cant talk about the bad man as it will make Uncle Owen cry if I do. In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains. We are staying in a place called Baden Baden that's a silly name, Uncle Frank has the same name as his dad, that's silly too, his mum must get their underpants mixed up all the time.

On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me, he got me some toffee and wants to be my friend, he works at the place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.

Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign, Uncle Wayne, Uncle Steven and Uncle David also talk funny, my mum says Uncle David talks like Orville, he is a duck, Uncle Sol say's uncle David wears dresses and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me some pop.

In Germany the grown ups are going to play football, my grandad says we beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time ago.

While the grown up's went to play football, I went shopping with Auntie Vicky and some other girls she bought me a big ice cream and got herself a little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any and threw it away. She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play with Brooklyn. She say's she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs, I think she was telling fibs.

I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundred's & thousands on it.

All the other grown up's have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy, that's why I got taken on holiday.

The grown up's went to play Football against somebody called Sweden, Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk to him. Uncle Sol bought me lots of toffee today and some crisps. Uncle Sven is from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night. Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at football though.

Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of out holiday but it got better so they let him play football. Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like it. He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I should while we are here, they are too tight for me.

All the grown up's started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood on somebodys spuds. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all saying that we have to go home now. Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.

[Thanks Con]

Do you think there's too much violence on TV?

At least that's usually the question that is asked, but more recently there's been too much diving on TV...
And yes, this segment is largely aimed at the Italian Football team...

[Thanks Con]

Italia 2006 - FIFA's Mens Diving Championship

[Thanks Con]

FIFA Announcement

"It's alleged that one of the Portuguese football players failed a drugs and alcohol test after the match. If this is confirmed as positive, under FIFA rules, paragraph 6 sub section 2e, Portugal will forfeit the quarter final match and England will play France in the Semi Final on Wednesday".

Scroll down for the full transcript of this report.

Carlsberg do not send emails, but if they did they would probably be the best emails the world.

[Thanks Con]

Ronaldo cops some flack...

Or just go BBC:

"A concerted email campaign by England fans could rob Ronaldo of the
World Cup's best young player award."

On on the Sun

While Ronaldo isn't currently leading the vote, Rooney is still only in 5th and has a long way to catch up on the leaders.

[Thanks to Con for some of that]

Portugal's Training Ground

There seems to be a certain ammount of ill-will towards these guys...

[Thanks Con]

Bud Light: Secret Fridge

Bud Light: Secret Fridge - Google Video [flash video]

Looks like Bud are using Google Video for viral advertising... so lets help spread the word...

Neat ad anyway...

[Thanks Con]

Thursday, 6 July 2006

You're Beautiful - Aussie comedian Tom Gleeson dissects Blunt hit

You're Beautiful - Aussie comedian Tom Gleeson dissects Blunt hit - on Bore Me [Windows Media Audio]

James Blunt takes it on the chin...

[Thanks Con]

Found another varyation here.

Oh Crap

Oh Crap - Google Video [flash video]

Makes you think twice about using a porta-loo....

[Thanks Con]

Wednesday, 5 July 2006

Engineering Quiz Time

Challenge yourself here:

A Backhoe weighing 8 tons is on top of a flatbed trailer and headingeast on Interstate 70 near Hays, Kansas. The extended shovel arm ismade of high tensile steel and the approaching overpass is made ofcommercial-grade concrete, reinforced with 1 1/2 inch steel rebarSpaced at 6 inch intervals in a crisscross pattern layered at 1 footvertical spacing.

Solve: When the shovel arm hits the overpass, how fast do you have tobe going to slice the bridge in half? (Assume no effect for headwindand no braking by the driver...)

I thought I had blogged this already... but this is a new slant...

[Thanks Catherine]

Rooney gets his payback!

Funny how the English make themselves feel better about their WorldCup loss...

[Thanks Con]


Saddam Hussein found guilty...sentenced to be shot...

...last request is to name his own firing squad..

...he has chosen Lampard, Gerrard and Carragher from 12 yards...

[Thanks Con]

Monday, 3 July 2006

Sudoku Toilet Roll

Sudoku Toilet Roll

Now it doesn't matter if you're sh!t at Sudoku!

[Thanks Catherine]

Water for free "Delicate tissues"

Water for free "Delicate tissues" - Google Video [flash video]

For get the song, this vid gives Tokyo Drift a run for it's money... and it probably has less faked scenes too!

Shakira - Hips Dont Lie spoof

Shakira - Hips Dont Lie spoof - Google Video [flash video]

If you didn't loose your lunch on the last one, try this one...

Brokeback Speights

Brokeback Speights - Google Video [flash video]

It' s been doing the rounds and unlike a certain Telecom spoof, it hasn't been withdrawn...

Walt Handelsman: N.S.A. Wiretapping

Walt Handelsman: N.S.A. Wiretapping [flash animation]

Neat little song and dance number that de-mistifies the role of the NSA (and any doubts you had about who's listening in every time you pick up the phone...)

[Thanks Jan]

Milkshake Girl

Milkshake Girl - Google Video [Flash video]

OK, so this will probably put you off the song....
the original video....
drinks in general...
food even...

But it's still funny.