Temperature

• 40 degrees - Californians shiver uncontrollably. People in Scotland sunbathe.
• 35 degrees - Italian cars won't start. People in Scotland drive with the windows down.
• 20 degrees - Floridians wear coats, gloves, and wool hats. People in Scotland throw on a T-shirt.
• 15 degrees - Californians begin to evacuate the state. People in Scotland go swimming in the sea.
• 0 degrees - New York landlords turn the heat on. People in Scotland have a last barby before it gets cold.
• -10 degrees - People in Miami are extinct. People in Scotland lick flagpoles.
• -20 degrees - Californians all now live in Mexico. People in Scotland throw on a light jacket.
• -80 degrees - Polar bears begin to evacuate the Artic. Scottish Boy Scouts postpone winter survival exercise until it gets cold enough.
• -100 degrees - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole. People in Scotland wear a vest and pull down their ear flaps.
• -173 degrees - Ethyl alcohol freezes. People in Scotland are angry 'cos they can't thaw their whisky kegs.
• -297 degrees - Microbial life starts to grind to a halt. Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.
• -460 degrees - ALL atomic motion stops. People in Scotland start saying " A bit hill billy ... eh?"
• -500 degrees - Hell freezes over. The Scots support England in the World Cup

[Thanks Con]