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The Usual Friday Crud

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Friday, 28 April 2006

Belly Table Bump

Belly Table Bump [windows media]


[Thanks Con]

We are all Monkeys....

Dance, Monkeys, Dance [flash video]

Far too intellectual for a Friday!

[Thanks Con]

Free BBQ Grill

This is not a joke. You can get a free BBQ grill from any of the following stores:
  • Asda
  • Marks & Spencer
  • Morrisons
  • Sainsburys
  • Somerfield
  • Tesco
  • Waitrose
  • Wal-Mart
  • Or any other quality supermarket in your city.
I especially like the higher shelf which can be used for keeping things warm!

[Thanks Con]

Thursday, 20 April 2006

Because I really care!

Zenit / Foto Sniper Camera / About

Zenit / Foto Sniper Camera / About

Serious about photography? Really? This serious?

BTW Wasn't their a Bond film where someone is tracking through the bush and you get glimpses of a gun stock... And it turns out to be a camera.

Wednesday, 19 April 2006

Terrific Theme Park!

Terrifi Theme Park [power point]

Could be the last ride of your life!

[Thanks Con - couldn't find the other two online!]

How to Stir a Hot Beverage Correctly

How to Stir a Hot Beverage Correctly VideoSift [flash video]

Just in case you didn't know how...

Classic Japanese commentary...

NBA Dunks - American Bad Ass

YouTube - NBA Dunks - American Bad Ass [flash video]

Ahhh... my favourite... I just wish I was still fit enough to dunk...

Raging Ryan

YouTube - Raging Ryan [flash video]

"Look at me being serious."

Heh heh, student politics gone wild....

Real Liger on StupidVideos

Real Liger on StupidVideos [quicktime]

"Doesn't occur in the wild as Tigers and Lions are natural enemies" So what do the Zoo people do? Stick them in the same cage until they bonk....

Audio-Only Doom Game

Audio-Only Doom Game - Kotaku

It feels like an April Fools joke, but it's quite serious!

Unfortunatly you need an Xbox360 controllor attached to your PC... donations anyone?

Audio-Only Doom Game

Audio-Only Doom Game - Kotaku

It feels like an April Fools joke, but it's quite serious!

Unfortunatly you need an Xbox360 controllor attached to your PC... donations anyone?

Airline Announcements

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

  1. On a Southwest flight (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
  2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
  3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
  4. "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane"
  5. "Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."
  6. As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"
  7. After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."
  8. From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa.. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
  9. "In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
  10. "Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
  11. "Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."
  12. "As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."
  13. And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Delta Airlines is pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"
  14. Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."
  15. Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas, on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to Amarillo. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"
  16. Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."
  17. An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the Passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" "Why, no, Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"
  18. After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal."
  19. Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of US Airways."
  20. Heard on a Southwest Airline flight. "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."
  21. A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax... OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!" A passenger in Coach yelled, "That's nothing. You should see the back of mine."

[An oldi-but-goodie from Gible]

Roman Conquests

Julius Caesar is addressing the Roman crowd. "Friends Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious."
The crowd are up on their feet "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"

Brutus turns to his mate and says " He doesn't half talk some shi*e eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag."

Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the Coliseum.
" Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls".
The crowd are up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar".

Brutus once again turns to his mate "I'm sick of his bullsh*t, I'm off to France to check this out."
Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome.

Meanwhile, Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those b*stards out"
The crowd are up on their feet."Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar"

Brutus jumps up and shouts, "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000!!!!"
The crowd are stunned and all sit down in silence.
Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says, "Brutus, you are forgetting one thing




Away Gauls count double in Europe!" Boom Boom!!

[Thanks Con]

Spring Board Malfunctions

Spring Board Malfunctions [windows media]

Now that's my kind of gymnastics!

[Thanks Con]

Tuesday, 18 April 2006

Webcam Girls Go Wild

Webcam Girls Go Wild - Google Video [flash video]

This made my morning... even if I had to be a little discrete playing it at work...

[Thanks Jan - I wont ask how you discovered this...]

Webcam Girls Go Wild

Webcam Girls Go Wild - Google Video [flash video]

This made my morning... even if I had to be a little discrete playing it at work...

[Thanks Jan - I wont ask how you discovered this...]

Friday, 14 April 2006

Dilbert's Mom Struggles with her PC...

Dilbert's Mom

Cookie Monster as Shaft

Cookie Monster as Shaft VideoSift [flash video]

The King of Bling, or just what happens when Cookie Monster mixes his Elton John outfit with his Mr T outfit....

Not entirely sure what this has to do with Shaft...

Faith the Two Legged Dog Pt. 2

Compfused.com - Faith the Two Legged Dog Pt. 2 [windows media]

Almost weird....

AbsurdlyCool Freebie Finder

AbsurdlyCool Freebie Finder

Want free stuff? Here's where to find it!

Warcraft Panel

YouTube - Warcraft Panel [flash video]

Wicked! Desk surface "touch" screen with voice commands, tested on WarCraft III.

One Man Charles Ross

One Man Charles Ross [find the quicktime video]

The whole of Star Wars in just 5 minutes, with only one actor.... And then he does it again with Lord of the Rings...

Kinda funny...

Play time - The Invisible Quest II

Flash � The Invisible Quest II [flash]

Jeepers, how to make a maze game harder, take away the mouse pointer....

Thursday, 13 April 2006

The best (soccer) pub team in the world..

The Best Pub team in the world [Google Video]

I guess you have to know a bit of English Football history to really appreciate this one.

[Thanks Con]

Tuesday, 11 April 2006

Fish Thoughts - Kinda play-time...

http://www.funpods.com/Web_PC_Games/Pod_005/Game_Toy_005.htm [flash]

Yet more from the too-much-time-on-their-hands department...

It all gets a bit weird when the little fish swim through the goldfish...

Deconstructing SOCA

BBC NEWS Magazine Deconstructing SOCA

Yes, the UK has a new crime fighting agency, the SOCA, it's basically the FBI in bowler hats...

For some reason, the real talking point is not the agency, but the logo. Apparently it's a little bit Thundercats....

Monday, 10 April 2006

Cure for bird-flu

[Thanks Con]

'Get two million page hits and I'll do three-in-a-bed'

'Get two million page hits and I'll do three-in-a-bed' The Register

Which just goes to show that some guys will do just about anything to get a threesome...

Wednesday, 5 April 2006

Dilbert is on form as usual...

Just as well we're all going "open plan"...

Man flogs wife's box on eBay

Man flogs wife's box on eBay The Register

I did spot the original, but it was removed from eBay before I could post it.

Hillarious... make sure you read the questions.

Ti's the season to be punny....

Worth1000.com Photoshop Contests Are you Worthy� contest

A bunch of hipsters in a coffeehouse panic when a skunk walks in and stinks the place up.

A bunch of hipsters in a coffeehouse panic when a skunk walks in and stinks the place up. VideoSift [flash video]

Nature: 1 Latte-drinkers: 0

Shoo Fly

Shoo Fly [flash]

From the too much time ond their hands and far to clever-by-far with flash...

(Click "Watch this movie")

Case Mod - The Ultimate List

Case Mod - The Ultimate List

Some of you may not have heard of Case Modding, it's when you change the look of that beige (now often black, or if you're into Macs, white) box is your computer...

Some of these are way over the top, some are just cool!

Tuesday, 4 April 2006

Priceless Classic

Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to openhis eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and aglass of water on the side table.He sits up and notices his clothing in front of him, all clean andpressed.Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfastis on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and, sure enough, there is a hot breakfast andthe morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Martin asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 a.m., drunk and delirious.You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself ablack eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Martin asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your pants off, you said, 'Get your hands off me, bitch!I'm married!'"

Moral of the Story:
Self-induced hangover... $100
Broken furniture... $2,000
Breakfast... $10
Saying the right thing to your wife when you're drunk...PRICELESS

[Yup, another oldie from Con]

Karaoke for the Deaf Funny Video

Karaoke for the Deaf Funny Video / MySpace Video Codes [windows media]

I think this is another oldie...

[Thanks Con, who appears to be cleanning out the attic of his email...]

Sad News

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Cokey" died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started...

Boom boom!

[Thanks Con for an oldie-but-goodie]

Monday, 3 April 2006

Battleships: Nuclear War Edition

FoxTrot 02/04/2006

The Reincarnation Station

The Reincarnation Station [flash]

What will you be reincarnated as?

Me - a wolf... go figure...

Play Time - Senses Challenge

BBC - Science & Nature - Human Body and Mind - Body - Senses Challenge [flash]

Even the BBC does games!

GM SUV spoofed by environmentalists

GM SUV spoofed by environmentalists CNET News.com

It's all about when getting all "with it" starts to back-fire...

There are some example vids here

Here come the XBox360 mods...

How-to: Make an iPod dock for your Xbox 360 (part I) - Engadget (that's right, the 360 is iPod ready, already!)

Nyko's XBox 360 Intercooler (just in case your 360 is running too hot)

(I was surprised to see that the HD in the 360 really is on that "outside" box on the top of the case...