Attempting...

[Thanks Pete]

Need a heavier donkey!

[Thanks Con]

Medical Distinctions

Jeep® Waterfall

Very cool, though I wonder how long before they add colour?

Solution or Problem?

The next time you find yourself on an aircraft, sitting next to someone who cannot resist chattering to you endlessly, pull your laptop out of your rucksack, carefully open the screen (ensuring the irritating person can see it), and hit this link.

[Thanks Con]

Marriage the whole truth

By all Means... MARRY!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?
Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."
Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't."
Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once...
Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

[Thanks Con]

English Linebacker joins Galaxy

Middle Linebacker from London, England David Beck-ham will be joining the MLS Soccerball team L.A. Galaxy.

Although not famous here yet, he's famous in Europe for his Goal Strikes from offensive set plays. Also great at making lineside plays, he'll be a great addition to the MLS.

He's spent the past two semesters playing for Soccer Madrid in Spain, Europe but now he's heading down to the Sunset Strip along with his famous wife singer Victoria Spice.

He was controversially Red marked and sent from the field of play to the red zone in the 1998 Soccer World Cup for a contact infringement against an Argentinian player.

MLS Soccer expert Spunk Halberg has said of the $250m deal:"What David will bring to the MLS is prestige, hair cream and great lateral play action in the End Zone."

[Thanks Con and the BBC 606]