Priceless Classic

Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to openhis eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and aglass of water on the side table.He sits up and notices his clothing in front of him, all clean andpressed.Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order,spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfastis on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and, sure enough, there is a hot breakfast andthe morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating.
Martin asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 a.m., drunk and delirious.You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself ablack eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Martin asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, andbreakfast is on the table waiting for me?"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when shetried to take your pants off, you said, 'Get your hands off me, bitch!I'm married!'"

Moral of the Story:
Self-induced hangover... $100
Broken furniture... $2,000
Breakfast... $10
Saying the right thing to your wife when you're drunk...PRICELESS

[Yup, another oldie from Con]