Autistic Basketballer scores..

I've been looking for this ever since I heard about it on the weekend... some sites seem to be removing the video....

YouTube - cestista autistico [flash video]

YouTube Search

And on Google Video [flash video] [best video]

Ten Best Flickr Mashups

Ten Best Flickr Mashups

Similar to Google Hacking, this is thinking out-side the square with Flickr (photo hosting site).

Some of these are very clever!

Owie, stingie

Ryan's Digital Roadgeekdom :: Owie, stingie

That's not how you get an excavator under a bridge...

Play Time - Massively Multiplayer Pong

Massively Multiplayer Pong [flash]

Wicked concept. Position of paddle is based on the average of all the players positions on each side...

Play time! Quail Hunting School

Quail Hunting School [flash]

Yup, it's shooting season, just don't get too close to any polititions....

Tyrone on the news

YouTube - Tyrone on the news

No idea who this guy is, but it's business as usual for "Sex, Drugs and Movies..."

MySpace makes familia waves

Wired News:

It's the same old story, boy meets girl online, girl meets boy offline, boy turns out to be old, girl turns out to be underaged...

The press are having their usual field day over this one... Kids are getting suspended from school, myspace is getting blocked from schools...

Do Cylons get redundancy packages?

Evil Overlords have needs too!

[Thanks Jan]

What can you remember?

Five Letter Word for "Computer Havoc-Wreaker"

Welcome to uComics Web Site featuring FoxTrot - Online Comics, Editorial Cartoons, Email Comics, Political Cartoons

I know a four letter word... "user"....

Pantomime Horse A James Bond Spoof From Monty Python

Putfile - Pantomime Horse A James Bond Spoof From Monty Python [Windows media]

The names Horse, Pantomime Horse...

Reebok Couch Commercial

Planet Vids - Commercials - Reebok Couch Commercial [windows media]

Escape the Couch...

The New Cowboy - Google Video

The New Cowboy - Google Video

Who would have thought that EDS would do an ad about cowboys herding cats!

Two smaller MP3 player offerings... much smaller

Two smaller MP3 player offerings... much smaller DenGuru

Now that's a small MP3 player!

WoW Ad

Dailymotion - Share Your Videos - warcraft :: pub, warcraft, jeu [flash video]

Ahhh... my gaming days are all but over...

[Catherine dV: this is for you...]

Wisps Surrounding the Horsehead Nebula

APOD: 2006 February 21 - Wisps Surrounding the Horsehead Nebula

I could handle a job where I spend all day looking at photos of space and thinking about how to colourise them so that they look this cool!

Play time again! Punch Simon Cowell

Punch Out Simon Cowell [flash]

Either this is long over due, or it's just been discovered...

15 Excuses for Calling in Sick

MSN Careers - 15 Excuses for Calling in Sick - Career Advice Article

Like you need an excuse....

Play time! Monk's Mind Game

USA Network Monk - Monk's Mind Game [flash]

asap - news

asap - news

The Associated Press has a newsite (targeting 18-35's apparently) that's using Google Maps to provide a geo interface to news. Nice idea, but not a lot of news in NZ! (zoom out, scroll and wait...)

Modern Dating

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk to her. Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says. They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings.The guy is amazed! Everything had been SO incredible! !! ! You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "

"No..." she replies. . . . . . "

(Wait for it...)

(It's coming...)

The suspense is killing you, isn't it?

She says: "You just happened to catch my eye"

[Thanks Con]

Japanese researcher shows off real 3D images

Zee News - Japanese researcher shows off real 3D images

That's right, this time it's real 3d, note the fake stuff we've seen before...

Tiny People on food

Tiny people on food
No less!

From the too much time on their hands department....

Kill Bill fight scene, Mario style

Kill Bill fight scene, Mario style - Joystiq [flash video]

PLay time - Tower Blaster

Tower Blaster - Play Free Games - Grab.com Games [flash]

Neat game, a little too cutsie though...

Best news headlines

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
War Dims Hope for Peace
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Enfield(London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
Man Struck By Lightning Face s Battery Charge
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

In an office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER...... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
Notice in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELLDOESN'T WORK)

[Thanks Con]

wine opener

wine opener - Google Video

Con sent me this [ignore the Long Beach City Council Meeting], but as you can see, it's already out there doing the rounds...

The expression "Suck-start a Harley" comes to mind....

It's all fun until someone is traumatized for life

It's all fun until someone is traumatized for life [flash video]

Parents really shouldn't check their kids video games, if this is what they're going to do... (video their kids playing the games, just to get their reaction on tape...)

Saab Suite

Compfused.com - Saab Suite [windows media]

The Saab Performance Team should be on Top Gear!

Platy time! - Viral Billiards

Viral Billiards [flash]

TANGO - "Barrel"

TANGO - "Barrel" Clemmow Hornby Inge [quicktime]

Viral advert...

Cheney's got a gun

Cheney's got a gun (update) [flash]

It pays not to be near politions with guns... (You may have seen this on the news)

Fire - Can of Coke and a chocolate bar

Wildwood Survival - Fire - Can of Coke and a chocolate bar

While it might get you fire in a tight spot... I can think of better things to do with a can of Coke and a chocolate bar!

Chain Gun

OK, after all my shotgun posts, Jan sent me this one but I reckon that tanks don't count...

But then I found these...

Chain Gun [windows media]
More Chain Gun [windows media]

That's a heck of a firing rate!

Some of the scenes look like they've been ripped from an episode of Monster Garage.

Tunnel Mishaps

Compfused.com - Tunnel Mishaps [windows media]

Jeepers there's some crap drivers out there!

For the married and those who intend to, worthy facts

• Every man should get married some time; after all, happiness is not the only thing in life!! --Anonymous
• Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. --Oscar Wilde
• Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. --Scottish Proverb
• I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. --Sam Kinison
• A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. --Anonymous
• Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too. --H. L. Mencken
• Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. --H. L. Mencken
• "A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." - U2
• Marriage is a three-ring circus:
  
  • engagement ring
    
  • wedding ring
    
  • suffering
• When a newly married couple ! smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
• Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
• When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
• I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back to home always. --Anonymous
• I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said,"Somewhere I have never been!" I told her, "How about the kitchen?" --Anonymous
• We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
• My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. --Anonymous
• She got a mudpack and looked great for two days.Then the mud fell off. --Anonymous
• She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for thegarbage?" Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in." --Anonymous
• Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses to get tomarried. He says "the wedding rings look like minature handcuffs....." --Anonymous
• If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife yelling atthe front door, who do you let in first? The Dog of course..! .at least he'll shut up after ulet him in! --Anonymous
• A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly parted motherand started back toward his car when his attention wasdiverted toanother man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to bepraying with profound intensity and kept repeating, 'Why did u have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said,"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so? Deeply? A child? A parent?"The mourner took a moment to collect and replied "My wife's first husband."
• A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled " It really works!

[Thanks Nizza]

Poetry

FEMALE POEM
I want a man who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long.
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, be not annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door, massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh!? For a man who makes love to my mind
And knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"
I want this man to love me to no end,
And always be my very best friend.



MALE POEM
I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store and a boat.
I know this doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.
[Thanks Con]

Oh GOD...Today is our lucky day, NOT!!!!!

[Thanks Con]

Winter Olympics Joke

The Irish Bobsleighing team has been arrested in Turin by Interpol.
Apparently they are wanted for questioning for the murders of Bob Monkhouse, Bob Holness and Bob Carrolgees…

[Thanks Con]

This might make you puke!

What Up Willy! - Surfin, Hangin, Poker, and Life's other goodness: In-N-Out 100x100

Two burger buns, 100 meat patties and 100 slices of cheese later...

Big waves at Mavricks

Yahoo! Player [flash?video]

That's some pretty serious waves!

Some people just shouldn't be allowed to drive cars like this!

This is what it looked like when he left home...

And now it looks like this....

[Thanks Hayden]

Man can Multitask - Google Video

Man can Multitask - Google Video

Yes, it's true, men really can multitask... kinda...

Prisoners use video game to relive crime

Telegraph News Prisoners use video game to relive crime

Which just goes to show that Violent Crimes cause video games!

"The use of high-tech goods, such as PlayStations, as privileges is common practice across many prisons and has been proved to be a successful method of generating a positive response from prisoners."
Duh! How negative would you be if all you had to do each day was eat free food and play video games... (OK so the "night-life" might not be so attactive...)

Automatic Shotgun

Planet Vids - Cool Videos - Automatic Shotgun [windows meida]

OK, this one carries more rounds and just might be faster!
But looks like there's more recoil and the tricks aren't so cool!

Lawn Chair Racing

Planet Vids - Cool Videos - Lawn Chair Racing [windows media]

Hmmm... I thought it was going to be the motorised version, but no, just chairs on scateboards... Lots of crashes, jousting, doubles and fireworks though...

Shotgun Skills

Compfused.com - Shotgun Skills [windows media]

12 rounds in 1.73 seconds! Virtually no recoil!
At last, a shotgun for self defense!

Play time!

above the influence - Zombie Escape [flash]

Play Time!

AcceleRacers Track Mod - Presented by Addicting Games [flash]

Lots more games on the right hand side...

The 2005 Advertising Awards

Pesticide Award

Burger King Award

Nike Award

Levis Award

Jewlery Award

Mascara Award

[Thanks Con]

Finally! The offside rule explained for girls...

You're in a shoe shop, second in the queue for the till.
Behind the shop assistant on the till is a pair of shoes which you have seen and which you must have.
The female shopper in front of you has seen them also and is eyeing them with desire.
Both of you have forgotten your purses.
It would be totally rude to push in front of the first woman if you had no money to pay for the shoes.
The shop assistant remains at the till waiting.
Your friend is trying on another pair of shoes at the back of the shop and sees your dilemma.
She prepares to throw her purse to you.
If she does so, you can catch the purse, then walk round the other shopper and buy the shoes.
At a pinch, she could throw the purse ahead of the other shopper and, "whilst it is in flight" you could nip around the other shopper, catch the purse and buy the shoes.
Always remembering that until the purse has "actually been thrown" it would be plain wrong to be forward of the other shopper.

There you go, poppet!

[Thanks Con]

Barbies that never hit the shelves...

[Thanks Con]

UUUHHHGGG-rrrr!

UUUHHHGGG-rrrr! [quicktime mp3]
And now for something completely different!

Islam has other problems...

[Thanks Jan]

IT's here! IT Crowd has arrived

Channel4.com - IT Crowd [Windows media]

Hillarious!

Stick up for Real Women!

Delia's Way #1
Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips.
The Real Women's Way #1
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for God's sake.
You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway.

Delia's Way #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
The Real Women's Way #2
Buy Smash mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.

Delia's Way #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking tin, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
The Real Women's Way #3
Tesco's sell cakes. They even do decorated versions.

Delia's Way #4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a potato slice.
The Real Women's Way #4
If you over salt a dish while you are cooking, that's tough sh*t. Please recite with me the Real Women's motto: "I made it and you will eat it."

Delia's Way #5
Wrap celery in aluminium foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
The Real Women's Way #5
It could keep forever. I don't eat it.

Delia's Way #6
Brush some beaten egg white over piecrust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
The Real Women's Way #6
Sainsbury's frozen pie directions do not include brushing any egg whites over the crust.

Delia's Way #7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Women's Way #7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and drop it in 8 ounces of tequila. Drink the tequila. You might still have the headache, but you probably don't care anymore?

Delia's Way #8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves.
They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Women's Way #8
Go ask mister tight arse cutelegs, single neighbour to do it for you.

And finally the most important tip -
Delia's Way #9 Freeze leftover wine into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Women's Way #9
Leftover wine????!!!

[Thanks Con]

You can finally use your cellphone on NZ planes...

New Zealand's source for technology news on Stuff.co.nz: In flight cellphone rules eased slightly

Now that's cold!

Yahoo! News Photo

Hmm.... do you think his lips got stuck to it?

Heh heh - he said Bunghole!

Welcome to Bunghole Liquors - History

If it should make it to a TV near you...

The State of the Union Address Drinking Game 2006

Umm... just where did these kids get that "club"

YouTube - 7 pound "club" [flash video]

You just can't keep a good Hoff down...

YouTube - Hooked on a feeling [flash video]

[Thanks Con]

Jan doesn't like King Kong

IMDb user comments for King Kong (2005)

I worked in Germany with Jan.

I kind of agree with Jan, King Kong was a piece of CG spectacular. It was just too slapstick for me. I guess Peter was trying to capture slapstick nature of 1920's and 30's movies...

The movie is entertaining, but it's "American fodder", brain-off.

Missile Misfires On Ship

Missile Misfires On Ship [windows media]

It's a wonder the US Navy ever won a battle...

[Thanks Jan]