You just can't put a good Dilbert down...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:12 pm
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0 comments
Tuesday, 31 January 2006
Criminals Taking Tips From TV Crime Shows - Duh!
Criminals Taking Tips From TV Crime Shows - Yahoo! News
When freedom of information has it's downside... the bad guys get the info too...
When freedom of information has it's downside... the bad guys get the info too...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:04 pm
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0 comments
Clerks 2 is coming!
A landmark film... and here's comes the sequal!
MTV.com - Movies - News - Kevin Smith Vows 'Clerks 2' Language, Content Ups The Ante Of The Original 'A Hundredfold'
More spoilers can be found at Kevin's blog
MTV.com - Movies - News - Kevin Smith Vows 'Clerks 2' Language, Content Ups The Ante Of The Original 'A Hundredfold'
More spoilers can be found at Kevin's blog
posted by Craig Humphrey at
1:45 pm
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0 comments
Hmmm... maybe I need one of these for my iPod Nano...
H2O Audio for iPod nano -- H2O Audio Online Store
Water proof housing for iPods.
Water proof housing for iPods.
posted by Craig Humphrey at
11:22 am
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0 comments
Name as tea
It is the year 2020 and call centres are opening all over the West, as the new economic power India outsources work to the countries where many jobs originated. Millions of Americans, still struggling to adapt to a global economy, are willing to accept jobs that pay them in a new currency sweeping much of the world: EuRupees.
Some of them, eager to land one of the customer service jobs from India, areattending special training sessions in New York City, led by language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan.
On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching three ambitious students how to communicate with Indian customers.
Professor: "Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need to give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you'll be known to your customers as Gaurav. Randy, you'll be Ranjit. And Jane, you'll be Jagadamba.
Now imagine you just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?"
Gary: "Name as tea?"
Professor: "I think you mean 'namaste.' Very good. But what do you say after that?"
Gary: "How can I help you?"
Professor: "You're on the right track. Anyone else?"
Jane: "How can I be helping you?"
Professor: "Good try! You're using the correct tense, but it's not quite right. Anyone else?"
Randy: "How I can be helping you?"
Professor: "Wonderful! Word order is very important. Okay, let's try some small talk. Give me a comment that would help you make a connection with your Indian customers."
Randy: "It's really hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "The heat is always a good topic, but you haven't phrased it correctly. Try again."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "That's better. But your tag question can be greatly improved."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, no?"
Professor: "Wonderful! You can put 'no?' at the end of almost any statement.
You are understanding me, no?"
Jane: "Yes, we are understanding you, no?"
Professor (smiles): "We may need to review this later. But let's move on to other things. Have you ever heard Indians use the word 'yaar'?"
Randy: "Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time. Just last night, one of them said to me, 'Randy, give me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar computer."
Professor (laughs): "That's a different 'yaar,' yaar. The 'yaar' that I'm talking about means friend or buddy. You can use it if you've developed a camaraderie with a customer. For example, you can say, 'Come on, yaar. I am offering you the best deal.' Do you understand, Jagadamba?"
Jane: "Yaar, I do."
Professor (smiles): "Okay, let's talk about accents. If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"
Randy: "Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be wery happy and vill give you a vild time tonight."
Professor: "Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a bright future, Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But Gaurav, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you have any questions about what we've just learned?"
Gary: "Yes, Professor, I do have one question: Wouldn't it be simpler to learn to speak Hindi?"
[Thanks Nizza]
Some of them, eager to land one of the customer service jobs from India, areattending special training sessions in New York City, led by language specialist Dave Ramsey, who goes by a simpler name for his Indian clients: Devendra Ramaswaminathan.
On this warm afternoon, the professor is teaching three ambitious students how to communicate with Indian customers.
Professor: "Okay, Gary, Randy and Jane, first we need to give you Indian names. Gary, from now on, you'll be known to your customers as Gaurav. Randy, you'll be Ranjit. And Jane, you'll be Jagadamba.
Now imagine you just received a call from Delhi. What do you say?"
Gary: "Name as tea?"
Professor: "I think you mean 'namaste.' Very good. But what do you say after that?"
Gary: "How can I help you?"
Professor: "You're on the right track. Anyone else?"
Jane: "How can I be helping you?"
Professor: "Good try! You're using the correct tense, but it's not quite right. Anyone else?"
Randy: "How I can be helping you?"
Professor: "Wonderful! Word order is very important. Okay, let's try some small talk. Give me a comment that would help you make a connection with your Indian customers."
Randy: "It's really hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "The heat is always a good topic, but you haven't phrased it correctly. Try again."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, isn't it?"
Professor: "That's better. But your tag question can be greatly improved."
Randy: "It's deadly hot, no?"
Professor: "Wonderful! You can put 'no?' at the end of almost any statement.
You are understanding me, no?"
Jane: "Yes, we are understanding you, no?"
Professor (smiles): "We may need to review this later. But let's move on to other things. Have you ever heard Indians use the word 'yaar'?"
Randy: "Yes, my Indian friends use it all the time. Just last night, one of them said to me, 'Randy, give me yaar password. I am needing it to fix yaar computer."
Professor (laughs): "That's a different 'yaar,' yaar. The 'yaar' that I'm talking about means friend or buddy. You can use it if you've developed a camaraderie with a customer. For example, you can say, 'Come on, yaar. I am offering you the best deal.' Do you understand, Jagadamba?"
Jane: "Yaar, I do."
Professor (smiles): "Okay, let's talk about accents. If your client says 'I yam wery vorried about vat I bought for my vife,' how would you respond?"
Randy: "Please don't be vorrying, yaar. She vill be wery happy and vill give you a vild time tonight."
Professor: "Vunderful! I mean, wonderful. You have a bright future, Ranjit. And so do you, Jagadamba. But Gaurav, you haven't said anything in a while. Do you have any questions about what we've just learned?"
Gary: "Yes, Professor, I do have one question: Wouldn't it be simpler to learn to speak Hindi?"
[Thanks Nizza]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
11:04 am
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0 comments
Dilbert on the money
Ain't it the truth!
[Thanks Con]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
9:15 am
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0 comments
Friday, 27 January 2006
Star Wars Subbed in 1337
Star Wars Subbed in 1337 - Google Video
It's the Episode III trailor, with 733t subtitles, I think I've posted this before... but that was a long long time ago on a planet far away...
It's the Episode III trailor, with 733t subtitles, I think I've posted this before... but that was a long long time ago on a planet far away...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:46 pm
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0 comments
Half-Life 2: The Matrix Reloaded
Half-Life 2: The Matrix Reloaded - Google Video
The Matrix: Reloaded trailer meets the Half-Life 2 cast and crew.
The Matrix: Reloaded trailer meets the Half-Life 2 cast and crew.
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:41 pm
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0 comments
Scrolling Belt Buckle
ScrollingBuckle.com The Electronic Scrolling LED Belt Buckle. Only $29.99!
Every Geek should have one!
Every Geek should have one!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:37 pm
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0 comments
TurboTanks Tank Game - Play time!
TurboTanks Tank Game [java]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:34 pm
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0 comments
Thursday, 26 January 2006
Young Chuck Norris
YouTube - Young Chuck Norris - SNL [flash video]
Can't get too much Chuck Norris.... [err yes you can!]
Can't get too much Chuck Norris.... [err yes you can!]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
12:50 pm
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0 comments
Everything you ever wanted to know about Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris Facts
And a whole lot of things that you didn't want to know...
[Thanks Jan]
Updated: Chuck Norris on the Tony Danza show [Thanks Jan]
And a whole lot of things that you didn't want to know...
[Thanks Jan]
Updated: Chuck Norris on the Tony Danza show [Thanks Jan]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
12:05 pm
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0 comments
Wednesday, 25 January 2006
The Hogs are in town!
Some Harley Davidson chapter cruised through downtown Auckland, 18 Jan 2006. [Google Video]
Note: taken on my Harrier PDA/phone - I knew it was good for something!
Note: taken on my Harrier PDA/phone - I knew it was good for something!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:54 am
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0 comments
Ford GT Crash - Ouch!
You heard it here first - 1 of 2 Ford GT's in NZ (the other's white) and this one is no longer as at midday today (23/01/2006).
Was worth approx $457k just prior.....
Luckily was still LHD otherwise driver would've been a write-off too.
Redoubt Road, Manukau.
Not on trade-me as yet......
He was apparently trying to avoid a speeding driver and was "overwhelmed by the power of the car"
Was worth approx $457k just prior.....
Luckily was still LHD otherwise driver would've been a write-off too.
Redoubt Road, Manukau.
Not on trade-me as yet......
He was apparently trying to avoid a speeding driver and was "overwhelmed by the power of the car"
[Thanks Adrian]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:15 am
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0 comments
Tuesday, 24 January 2006
USAirways attempts a hand-brake turn on an airliner!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
4:45 pm
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0 comments
Playtime - Toss the explosive hamster!
Konami :: Death Jr. :: PSP [flash]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
4:42 pm
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0 comments
2139,9 Km/h in Gran Turismo
Recor de velocidad 2139,9 Km/h Gran Turismo By KambeK - Google Video
Me thinks there's a bug in the game...
Me thinks there's a bug in the game...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
4:13 pm
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0 comments
Spamusement! Poorly-drawn cartoons inspired by actual spam subject lines!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:22 am
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0 comments
Computer Science Students Outsource Homework
Slashdot Computer Science Students Outsource Homework
This turns up every couple of years...
The /. comments are more fun than the article... (as usual?)
This turns up every couple of years...
The /. comments are more fun than the article... (as usual?)
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:20 am
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0 comments
Be one of the first in NZ to see an XBox360 in action!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:12 am
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0 comments
Friday, 20 January 2006
More Random stuff
It's always nice to have rock solid information on the weather...
Clearly, you're not wanted on this property...
It's good to focus on what's important...
A definite entrepreneurial spirit...
And who said politics is boring?
[Thanks Con]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
9:13 am
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0 comments
Random Stuff
Somewhere near Rochester, New York, Ed set out to bag his buck at 5:30 a.m. By 11:30 a.m., he was exhausted and hungry--and still no buck. At 12 noon, the mighty hunter Ed guards the remains of his lunch while a passerby snaps a quiet photo while trying not to startle the deer with a belly laugh .
Shot from the USS HONOLULU (Los Angeles-class fast attack submarine) at the Arctic Circle, 280 miles from the North Pole--is there anything that scares a polar bear?
The many shades of meaning...
Armless...
Consider yourself warned...
Lets get all bases covered...
Like, how many was that?
[Thanks Con]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
9:00 am
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0 comments
Thursday, 19 January 2006
Watch out!
A married man left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, however, he spent the weekend (and his money) partying with the boys.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it. After a couple of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days???"
The husband couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, "That would suit me just fine!!"
Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little just out of the corner of his left eye.
When he finally returned home on Sunday night, his wife really got on his case and stayed on it. After a couple of hours of swearing and screaming, his wife paused and pointed at him and made him an offer.
"How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days???"
The husband couldn't believe his luck, so he looked up, smiled and said, "That would suit me just fine!!"
Monday went by and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday went by and he still didn't see her.
Come Thursday, the swelling went down a bit and he could see her a little just out of the corner of his left eye.
posted by Craig Humphrey at
4:31 pm
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0 comments
THE TOP FIVE SMART-ALEC ANSWERS OF THE YEAR
- Smart-ALEC Answer #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub." - Smart-ALEC Answer #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a butcher, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The butcher replied, "No, ma'am, they're dead." - Smart-ALEC Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The kidreplied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket. - Smart-ALEC Answer #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads 'Low bridge ahead'. Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?" The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas." - Smart-ALEC Answer #1
The SMART-ALEC ANSWER OF THE YEAR "THE TEACHER"
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. "Now, Class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!" A smart-ALEC guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asks, "What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?" The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter and snickering. When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at the student, shakes her head, and sweetly says, "Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand!"
posted by Craig Humphrey at
3:57 pm
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0 comments
Techie TV comedy to premiere online in U.K. | CNET News.com
Techie TV comedy to premiere online in U.K. CNET News.com
Call me a geek, but this goes on the download list...
Call me a geek, but this goes on the download list...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:17 pm
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0 comments
Ouch! That's a little close...
Click image if it doesn't show up.
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:12 am
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0 comments
How do you know when you've had a close shave?
The Lynx effect?
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:11 am
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0 comments
757 Touch and Goes at Ohakia
757 Touch and Goes at Ohakia - Google Video
I was recently driving back up to Auckland (having spent Christmas with mum in Wellington) and had the RNZAFs 757 fly over me. So, being near Ohakia, I stopped, grabbed the camcorder and shot a short sequence...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:10 am
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0 comments
Wednesday, 18 January 2006
The REAL cost of an iPod
Explains why I hardly get mine out... it's just too fragile... and I got it for free!Thanks Userfriendly
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:45 pm
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0 comments
Leaning Tower of Pizza - built from 1000's of Jenga blocks!
Compfused.com - Wonderful Block Tower [windows media]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
2:41 pm
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0 comments
Tuesday, 17 January 2006
Someone's been having fun with their new high-speed camera
posted by Craig Humphrey at
5:21 pm
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0 comments
You just can't put a good cube down...
At least, not for 11.13 seconds!
Record falls as best Rubik's 'cubers' meet in S.F. Tech News on ZDNet
Record falls as best Rubik's 'cubers' meet in S.F. Tech News on ZDNet
posted by Craig Humphrey at
5:19 pm
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0 comments
Banned Xbox 360 Ad
Banned Xbox 360 Ad: Best Ad Ever! InsideMicrosoft - part of the Blog News Channel [flash video]
Very neat ad. I first thought it was a poke at having Air Marshals on all the flights (just how many real passengers are there?).
posted by Craig Humphrey at
11:35 am
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0 comments
Geek video
YouTube - Steve Rubel and Robert Scoble (w. Mini-Microsoft) [flash video]
Errr... geek video, full of Microsoft, Google, Yahoo, etc inside jokes...
BTW Looks like YouTube.com is a competitor for Google Video...
Errr... geek video, full of Microsoft, Google, Yahoo, etc inside jokes...
BTW Looks like YouTube.com is a competitor for Google Video...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
11:30 am
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0 comments
Monday, 16 January 2006
Women
WHITE WOMEN
- First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
- Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
- Third date: You get to have sex but only in the missionary position.
IRISH WOMEN
- First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
- Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
- 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
ITALIAN WOMEN
- First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
- Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
- Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
- 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
- 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
JEWISH WOMEN
- First Date: You get dynamite head.
- Second Date: You get more great head.
- Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
CHINESE WOMEN
- First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
- Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
- Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you already realized nothing is going to happen.
INDIAN WOMEN
- First date: Meet her parents.
- Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
- Third date: Wedding night.
BLACK WOMEN
- First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
- Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
- Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
- Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.
MEXICAN WOMEN
- First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have sex in the back of her car.
- Second Date: She's pregnant.
- Third Date: She moves in.
One week later: her mother, father, his girlfriend, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her father's girlfriend's mother, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Rio Grande.
The "POINT" - DON'T YOU JUST LOVE IRISH WOMEN
[Thanks Adrian]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
5:02 pm
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0 comments
Friday, 13 January 2006
Maths was never this much fun at school!
Bikini Calc! [Google Video]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:37 pm
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0 comments
"Ghostrider" chases down a BMW Z3 M Coupe
Nearly 15 minutes of unscripted(?) chase footage, thanks to Google Video.
The master site is down, so I don't exactly know what this is about...
The master site is down, so I don't exactly know what this is about...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:23 pm
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0 comments
Monday, 9 January 2006
Saturday, 7 January 2006
Golfing Lingo for 2006
An Adolf Hitler - taking two shots in a bunker
An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result
A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect
A Rodney King - over-clubbed
An O.J. Simpson - somehow got away with it
A Condom - safe but didn't feel real good
A sister-in-law - up there, but I know that I shouldn't be ...........
A Sally Gunnell - ugly but a good runner
A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell, but still a good runner
A Kate Moss - a bit thin
Taking a Gerry Adams.......hitting a provisional ball
A nipple licker......a shot that opens up the hole.
A Diego Maradonna....very very nasty little five footer
A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer
A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read
A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't
A ladyboy - Looks like an easy hole but all may not be what it seems .....
Putting like a gynaecologist's assistant....shaving the hole
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:17 pm
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1 comments
Thursday, 5 January 2006
OK, so a Brit has managed to beat the Yanks at their own game!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:17 am
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0 comments
A safe way to play Russion Rulette?
Playtime! [flash]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
10:16 am
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0 comments
Relive your youth!
1980 games - Old online video and arcade games for free
OK, so some of you might not have been born...
OK, so some of you might not have been born...
posted by Craig Humphrey at
9:42 am
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1 comments
How to get guys to get more (computer) work done...
Way back when I mentioned breast shaped mice, with the nipple being the button. Now here's the perfect companion: Welcome to Busty Mousepads
posted by Craig Humphrey at
9:28 am
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0 comments
Amusement Park Ride Collapses
Planet Vids - Crazy Videos - Amusement Park Ride Collapses [windows media]
posted by Craig Humphrey at
8:57 am
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0 comments
Motorised Picnic Table - does the rounds...
This article on the NZ Herald: Table for eight please - and make it snappy - 03 Jan 2006 - Technology & Science is doing the rounds here and here. It also made an appearence on the 6pm news the other night.
posted by Craig Humphrey at
8:53 am
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0 comments
Wednesday, 4 January 2006
The Real Top Gear Bugatti Veyron video...whole episode - Google Video
The Real Top Gear Bugatti Veyron video...whole episode - Google Video
Google have obviously stopped worrying about copywrite, since here's a WHOLE EPPISODE of Top Gear!
Google have obviously stopped worrying about copywrite, since here's a WHOLE EPPISODE of Top Gear!
posted by Craig Humphrey at
4:30 pm
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0 comments
Football Dribble in LeidsePlein Amsterdam - Google Video
posted by Craig Humphrey at
3:55 pm
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0 comments
Sunday, 1 January 2006
Tis the season...
Thanks to the team at DivX, for this best description of the current season that's been put through the PC (Politically Correct) machine:
"Happy regional or culturally specific solstice adjacent celebration (and/or period of solemn remembrance)!"
"Happy regional or culturally specific solstice adjacent celebration (and/or period of solemn remembrance)!"
posted by Craig Humphrey at
3:21 pm
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0 comments
