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The Usual Friday Crud

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Saturday, 3 September 2005

The Hypnotist.....

A woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I've
been having all these years? Well, they're gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"
His wife replies, "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a
headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache.'
It worked! The headaches are all gone."
The husband replies, "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says, "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire
in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist
and see if he can do anything for that?"
The husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes,
picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the
bed and says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back A few minutes later and jumps
into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.
His wife says, "Boy, that was wonderful!"
The husband says, "Don't move! I will be right back."

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better
than the first time.
The wife sits up and her head is spinning.
Her husband again says, "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly
follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the
mirror and saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my

His funeral services will be held on Monday.


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