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The Usual Friday Crud

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Tuesday, 5 September 2006

Dog biscuit diet

I have a golden retriever and I was buying a large bag of Dog Biscuits at K Mart and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Dog Biscuit Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because last time I ended up in the hospital. But I'd lost 50lbs before I awakened up in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentialy a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Dog biscuits and simply eat two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutrionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her. Horrified she asked if I'd ended up in hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no; it was because I had been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

I thought one guy was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard as he staggered out the door.

[Thanks Gibble]

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