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The Usual Friday Crud

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Monday, 21 August 2006

Only in NZ

Being a Kiwi is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Oh and...

  • Only in N.Z. ... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
  • Only in N.Z. ... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
  • Only in N.Z. ... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries and a DIET coke.
  • Only in N.Z. ... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.
  • Only in N.Z. ... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars on the drive and & lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.
  • Only in N.Z. ... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
  • Only in N.Z. ... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

  • 3 Kiwis die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.
  • 58 Kiwis are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.
  • 31 Kiwis have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.
  • 8 Kiwis had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
  • A massive 543 Kiwis were admitted to emergency in the last two Years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.....

In 2000 eight Kiwis cracked their skull whilst throwing up in the toilet.

[Thanks Lynn]

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