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The Usual Friday Crud

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Wednesday, 22 March 2006

How many Auckland lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?

Russell McVeagh - 35. 34 hired bright-eyed and enthusiastic out of law school, simply to fall despairingly by the wayside. One to assist a partner changing the light bulb in her 6 th year of practice.

Bell Gully - 2. One to change the light bulb, one to make sure Russell McVeagh aren't taking a different approach.

Buddle Findlay - That matter is confidential to the partners, their bank, and the fixtures & fittings auctioneer.

Minter Ellison - None. Unless you count the 4 or 5 (would anyone really notice the difference?) offering encouragement and praise to the Russell McVeagh lawyer explaining over the speaker-phone that she's changed over 100 light bulbs in her 6 years of practice, and that if they don't get off their arses and change it right goddamn now, she'll come down there and change it for them.

Kensington Swan - We don't have any light bulbs. They're outmoded, old technology. That's why we have these huge windows in our new building. You've got to keep pace with change, you know. And the city IS drifting westward. Pretty soon it'll just be Russell McVeagh, Bell Gully, Simpson Grierson and Minter Ellison rattling around on Shortland Street by themselves. Watch out, dinosaurs!

Chapman Tripp - 3. One to argue for incremental change to the status quo, one to rail against such dangerous activism, and one to break the deadlock by proclaiming herself the champion of "common sense".

Simpson Grierson - You know, in the movie business, there's a guy whose job it is just to change the light bulbs.

[Thanks Nizza]


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