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The Usual Friday Crud

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Tuesday, 18 October 2005

When God went missing...

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Heaven, God went missing for six days.Eventually on the seventh day Michael the Arch Angel found him, resting.He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards throughthe clouds."Look Michael, look what I've made." said God.Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?""It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put LIFE on it. I'm going to call itEarth and it's going to be a great place of balance.""Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. "For example, NorthAmerica will be a place of great of opportunity and wealth while SouthAmerica is going to be poor; the Middle East over there will be a hot spotand Russia will be a cold spot. Over there I've placed a continent of whitepeople and over there is a continent of black people."God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremelyhot and arid while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a small land massand said, "What's that one?""Ah," said God. "That's New Zealand, the most glorious place on Earth. Thereare beautiful lakes, rivers, streams and hills. The people from New Zealandare going to be modest, intelligent and humorous and they're going to befound traveling the world. They'll be extremely sociable, hard-working andhigh-achieving and they will be known throughout the world as diplomats andcarriers of peace."Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What aboutbalance, God? You said there would be BALANCE!"God replied wisely, "Wait until you see the wankers I'm putting next tothem. I call them 'Australians'".


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